my year of pause

It’s become trendy to choose a word of the year, but I think a simple reminder that ties together all that I want to work on in 2018 can’t be anything but helpful so here it is: Pause.

I believe that I’m a work in progress and rather than set hard and fast resolutions, I’d like to spend this year building better habits and creating more space to become the person I want to be. When I reflect on the things I’d like to improve, a consistent pattern forms around my tendency to react quickly, immediately even. The result is a deluge of my most impatient, emotional and, usually, poorly thought out responses – a terrible cocktail that must be received as nothing less than a bad temper to the person on the receiving end.

And when I take things one step further and consider who it is that consistently sees the worst of me, my heart sinks to realize it’s my family, friends and closest colleagues at work. Now, I know I’m not a terrible monster, but the fact is that I could be doing a much better job showing these people that I love and value them. And frustration or annoyance take much less time to display than kindness and understanding.

So this year I want to remind myself to pause; to create the space to make a better decision, to leave room to chose my words with more care, to reflect on what I’ve heard instead of planning what I want to say.

I want to pause when my children call my name; to look them in the face and hear their need, rather than barking at them to “hold on a second.”

When my finger hovers over a social media app, I want to pause and set my phone down in favor of a book on the train or to meet the eyes of my daughter while she nurses.

I want to build my listening skills, which means learning to pause before speaking. I owe it to the people around me to focus on what they’re saying and consider it fully.

And in order to do all of these things, I want to stop reacting and start acting with intention and a sense of self-control. As the thinking goes – although I can’t control what happens to me, I can control my response.

So this is what I want to work on this year, responding better, more carefully and taking the pauses I need to make that happen. I’ll be sharing my journey here, along with any resources, activities, etc. that help me move forward throughout the process.

Did you choose a word this year? I’d love to hear it and share ideas!
kuri xx

Leave a Reply